


For Better or For Worse

by Candles Burnin (GothAlbinoAngel)



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Death, F/F, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Marriage, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothAlbinoAngel/pseuds/Candles%20Burnin
Summary: Emily wanders Amherst as a spirit, watching, waiting, Death her only companion. Sue spends her time in the kitchen, sitting beside a (mostly) empty seat. Death checks his stopwatch, counting down, preparing for the time two separate hearts will become one again.Will you love meWhen my heartbeat stops?When my heartbeat stopsWill you stay mine?
Relationships: Emily Dickinson/Susan "Sue" Gilbert
Comments: 14
Kudos: 117





	For Better or For Worse

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this for someone on YouTube (who I'm assuming might want to remain as anonymous as possible) because of their comment on the Afterlife video. The comment basically amounted to, "Emily's waiting for Sue so they can get married in heaven". My brain took that and sprinted off, so I hope this is okay, random but awesome YouTube commenter!

Emily brushed her fingers over a flower with a smile. She couldn’t feel it, of course. She couldn’t feel anything since her death. Well, not _physically_ at least. Glancing up to the house in front of her, she couldn’t help her smile growing wider as she made her way up the walk. So many times, so many years, and she could make this walk in her sleep.

Stepping through the door, Emily made her way toward the kitchen. So often her mother preferred she be here doing housewife duties. Interesting that Emily didn’t spend so much time in the kitchen until _after_ her death. But that’s because there was something worth spending time in there for. Some _one._

In a chair near the fire, sipping a cup of tea and humming softly to herself, sat Sue. Older, certainly, but no less beautiful in Emily’s opinion. She wished she hadn’t died so soon. She could still write so many grandiose things about Sue, about life, about the world. But alas, her time had come a relative quarter century before, give or take a year. Death had been such a wonderful companion to her during her life despite his busy schedule, she would never make him wait.

So instead, here Emily sat now, in the empty seat Sue reserved just for her. Sue couldn’t see or hear her, of course. Emily was dead, a spirit. But Sue could sense her, she knew when Emily was nearby. Allowing herself to settle down, Emily turned to gaze upon Sue once more. Age had only made her more beautiful, the creases under her eyes, the wisdom shining in her gaze, her hands frail and yet no less powerful in their own way. Even the continued loss she felt, from the death of her family, to the death of her husband, to the deaths of her sons, did not stop that fire behind Sue’s eyes that made her so wonderfully _Sue._ Yes, Emily could spend eternity watching Sue if given the chance.

The sound of horses outside drew Emily’s attention, though. Glancing out the window, she spotted the familiar dark carriage and smokey horses. With a smile, Emily stood. She reached over to place her hand over Sue’s before she stepped through the wall. The door to the carriage opened as it usually would and Emily stepped inside. Even with her age, Death still dressed her in the red dress he gave her when she was younger, less accomplished.

Death’s dark eyes surveyed Emily with his usual smile. “You’re looking well,” he greeted her.

“Well, I’d say you came to get me at my peak,” Emily chuckled, smoothing her dress as always. “I imagine I don’t look that bad for only five decades or so.”

“Just as beautiful as the day you discovered loss,” Death agreed.

Emily felt a small pang in her chest at that, a phantom ache of the love she held for Ben. “How is he?” she asked softly, eyes dropping to her hands. For someone dead, she had so many ‘living’ mannerisms. Like the shaking of her hands right now.

“He’s doing fine, happy with his freedom.” Death watched her carefully. He recalled the desperation she once held. He knew she wouldn’t do that again, even now, but he was wary. His little darling could be unpredictable at times.

 _Happy._ Good. Emily never wanted those she loved to suffer. Not even Austin, after the wedding and the affair. She just wanted them all to be happy.

Glancing out the carriage, Emily hummed to herself. “So… it’ll be soon?”

Death knew exactly what she was referring to. He saw the longing in her eyes, the shadow of her pain shining every time he found her. His timetable could be so cruel to mortals. Allowing them freedom, and yet, for some, still leaving them with pain until they, too, could regain their happiness. He understood it all too well, and yet, not at all.

“Likely in a day or two,” he responded. He was never precise. He could never let too much information slip through. Just enough for those who communicated with him to be aware. “She’s beginning to be able to sense my presence.”

“Of course she is,” Emily said with a smirk. “She’s the only one who believed me. Next time you see her, she’ll probably be able to see you.”

Laughter bubbled up from Death’s chest. “You’re probably right. She’s a lot like you, after all. Though I wonder if she’ll hold the same infatuation once she sees me.” He shot her a wink, which made Emily snort and roll her eyes.

“I doubt it,” Emily chuckled. “After all, I’m the only person I know who’s ever been this captivated by you. I like it this way.”

They lapsed into affectionate silence before Death tapped his cane. “I think… I’m gonna drop you off here.”

Emily’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Death opened the door and helped her out of the carriage. Emily gazed at the field before her, a meadow overgrown with flowers, weeds, trees dotting the grass. She’d never been here before, not that she could recall. “Why here?”

“You’ve got to get ready,” was all the explanation Death gave before the carriage door shut.

Well, this was unexpected. In fact, Emily couldn’t even tell where she was. Was she somewhere on earth? No, that can’t be right. She had been confined to Amherst for the entirety of her afterlife so far. There’s no way she could leave the town limits. So, the ethereal plain then. It was gorgeous. Was this all hers?

A memory came to her as she walked among the flowers. _It's all I have to bring to-day, This, and my heart beside, This, and my heart, and all the fields, And all the meadows wide…_ Yes, this is that. A never-ending field, a bountiful meadow as far as the eye could see.

“And my heart beside,” Emily murmured, brushing her fingers over the flowers and feeling the petals give beneath them for the first time in over 20 years. “I see. So that’s what you meant.” Very well. If that’s the way the game would be played, Emily supposed she had better get ready. She would hate to let Death’s cryptic reminder go to waste.

Back down in Amherst, Sue let out a small breath. She didn’t know how she knew, she wasn’t even entirely sure it wasn’t all in her head. She could just… _feel it_ whenever Emily was nearby, whenever she left. It wasn’t the same tingle she got whenever she thought her sons were watching over her and Mattie.

It pained her, just a little, thinking of what her sensing them might mean. Hopefully, Mattie wouldn’t be too sad, but Sue wouldn’t change a thing about her life. Yes, she had pain, so much pain and grief and loss, and she had forced herself to walk a path more acceptable for her own well-being, but she wouldn’t change it. Not when she knows where she’ll likely end up. It had been so long since she’d felt those comforting arms around her, she wondered if heaven would allow her to feel them again.

Deciding that she had no reason to remain by the fire now, Sue made her way up. Carefully, she climbed the stairs. Both Misty, their maid, and Mattie watched her, holding their arms out to ensure she didn’t fall. Once tucked into bed, Sue allowed herself to sleep.

Sleep was a reprieve from everything that hurt. The grief and heartache, the physical pain of moving, and everything in between. She preferred sleep, the small glimpses of her memories, of Emily, of happy times with Austin, Lavinia, everyone… She preferred sleep…

…but didn’t complain when the sound of horses outside awoke her. The sky was still dark, likely early morning. However, someone appeared to be sitting at her bedside. She knew him, recognized him almost instantly. Emily spoke so fondly of him, and Sue was the only one she could describe him to. No one else could be trusted with that information.

“It’s you,” she said quietly.

“Yes, it’s me.” He leaned on his cane, watching her calmly. “You’re not afraid.”

“Emily wasn’t,” Sue responded. “I have nothing to fear if she doesn’t.”

Death gave a light chuckle at that. “The two of you are quite a pair.” He held out a hand to her. “Shall we?”

Sue nodded and reached out her hand. As soon as she did, she felt… revitalized? No, that wasn’t quite right. Her body didn’t feel the same as it did a moment ago. Glancing down at herself, Sue found that she was back in her body, the one she had when she was 22. This… this was her before getting engaged.

Death guided her through the wall and out to his carriage. “I’ve strict orders to take you somewhere specific,” he said calmly.

“You?” Sue laughed. “I didn’t think Death took his orders from anyone.”

“Well, this might be me just goin’ along with a little treat.” Death’s deep black eyes twinkled as they set off.

Sue had so many questions. She knew she would likely only get this one chance to ask them, but she didn’t want to be rude either. Still, she just… “Are they alright?” she asked carefully. “My sons?”

“They’ve been watching you all like hawks,” Death replied with an understanding smile. He wasn’t surprised she had questions. She and Emily were linked after all. “They like keepin’ tabs on their family.”

“And… Lavinia?” Sue knew that wasn’t what she wanted to ask, but she didn’t know if she could take _that_ answer just yet.

“Living her best afterlife. Even after I came for her, she remained faithful to her craft.” Death tapped his finger against his cane, waiting.

“Austin?” She was steadily getting closer.

Death snorted. “He’s serving a little time, but he’ll reach his happiness eventually as well.”

Silence hung between them now. The question was eating at Sue. She desperately wanted to know, but could she handle it? Could she handle knowing about something, some _one_ , she’ll likely never experience again? She would give anything to know, but the prospect of the truth frightened her.

Finally, Sue took a deep breath. “E-?”

“Ah, it seems we’ve arrived,” Death said as the carriage slowed to a halt. “Wanna see?”

Sue couldn’t tell if she was disappointed or relieved. To avoid dwelling on it, she nodded. “Yes, I’m ready.”

Death opened the carriage door and gently guided Sue out. Sue’s eyes widened. This place, it was… _beautiful_. The flowers and weeds, stretching as far as the eye cared to see. The air was warm, like a light summer day, a cool breeze flowing through the sparse trees in sight. This was her place? Her afterlife? Sue could almost believe her heart was hammering, seeing this vast awesome and wild landscape.

Of course, she was positive it started beating again when she spotted something in the scape, something that far outshone the flowers and weeds, the lush green grass and expansive blue sky, even the sun itself. Nothing in the world, living or dead, afterlife or eternity, could possibly rival this sight, and nothing could have prepared Sue for witnessing it.

Emily beamed at Sue, fingering the flowers in her bouquet. Violets and heliotropes nestled into the flowers, a nod to Sue’s treatment of her upon her death. As soon as she knew Death was approaching, Emily’s afterlife form had shifted, returning to 22-year-old her, the one from before Austin and Sue married, before they even engaged. Behind her stood an altar, above which rose an archway of wildflowers.

As Sue drew closer, Emily watched her dress melt and reshape around her form. It resembled the one Sue wore at her wedding, but now, since it was the two of them, she wasn’t dolled up. She didn’t need to be. The two of them were beyond that, had been for most of the time they’d known each other.

Sue drank in the sight of Emily decked out in a gorgeous wedding dress. It was simple, some would even call it plain and hardly fit for a wedding, but Sue didn’t care. Seeing Emily again for the first time in so long, Sue was sure Emily could have shown up wearing nothing but a newspaper, and she would be the most beautiful thing in this meadow. Even better was the crown of flowers in Emily’s hair, tying the whole thing together. It was such an Emily thing to wear to a wedding.

The two of them stared, drinking one another in. It had been so long, too long, since they had been able to be together this way. In a way, it allowed their spirits to feel truly light for the first time since Emily’s death.

“Hey,” Emily said, finally breaking the silence. Hardly poetic or verbose, unusual for her, but she had eternity wax poetic for Sue’s benefit now. Eternity to write poems no one but Sue would read about Sue’s abundant beauty, strong spirit, and unparalleled heart. Everything was for Sue. Everything would always be for Sue. Everything would always _be_ Sue.

“Emily,” Sue whispered, still drinking her in. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

“Yup!” Emily’s grin only grew. “It’s me, in the… well not flesh and blood, but it’s definitely me.” She gestured to the altar with her bouquet. “And, if you’ll have me, I promise, no matter what I’m made of, it’ll be me every time. No vague sensations, no flashbacks, no hallucinations. Just you and me, Sue.”

Sue felt tears roll down her cheeks and she moved forward, burying her face in it’s favorite spot in Emily’s shoulder. A soft sob filtered through her lips. “I missed you so much.”

Emily wrapped her arms around Sue, her body turning into the softest clay in Michaelangelo’s hands at the feel of Sue against her again. “I never left you,” she cooed, stroking Sue’s hair as tears spilled from her eyes. “I was always there, I promise. All for you and those firecracker kids of yours.”

That got a slight chuckle from Sue and she squeezed Emily’s shoulders. She could spend eternity like this, just cradled in Emily’s arms. Nothing could tear them apart now, she was sure of it.

“Excuse me, do you mind?”

The voice made Sue jump and Emily snickered. Both of them pulled apart slightly to see that they were no longer alone. Lavinia, Mr. and Mrs. Dickinson, Maggie, Betty, Henry, and even George, Jane, and Louisa May were all there, watching them. Austin stood a little behind the rest of the group, likely due to what Death had mentioned to Sue earlier.

“I would like to get to this wedding, if you don’t mind?” Mrs. Dickinson huffed, looking younger than last they saw her. “It’s the only one I’ll ever be able to throw for either of my daughters, after all.” Her eyes rolled. “And while I _should_ have seen this coming, we didn’t exactly live in an era where this would have crossed my mind. Otherwise, I would have thrown a secret wedding for the two of you.”

Emily giggled at her mom with a smug grin. “I can’t marry someone if I can’t give my entire self to them.” Her eyes found Sue. “And only one person has ever been able to make me feel unrestrained and free, like a falcon soaring through the skies hunting for its prey. And yet, at the same time, it leaves me suffocating, hot and shaky, like a slow, drowning death in a bubbling sea of fire. It’s always been Sue.” Okay, so maybe she could wax poetic, but still. She had eternity. There was no stopping this train.

Lavinia strode over and grabbed Sue in an excited hug. “I’ve been waiting _so_ long for this, you’ve no idea. I’m so happy for the two of you, and unbelievably proud of you.” Her eyes turned on Emily. “Both of you.”

“Thanks, Vinnie,” Emily whispered, joining the hug.

Everyone settled around the altar, using chairs that conveniently appeared for them all to rest in. Before taking their seats, Henry and Jane stopped in front of Emily. Henry tipped his hat to her with a smile. “Thank you, Miss Emily,” he said quietly. “I appreciate everything you did for me, even if you couldn’t do much. You tried, and the war came, just like you said it would. We’re on a better path.”

“Slowly, but surely, I _know_ you’ll win that race,” Emily agreed. She reached out and Henry took her hand in a firm shake, beaming.

“I’m proud of you,” he told her before going off to sit at the piano.

Jane eyed Emily for a long moment before rolling her eyes. “Okay, I admit, you’re cool,” she huffed. “I kinda wish I’d followed in your footsteps, to be honest. Louey and I could’ve been… happy.”

Emily shrugged. “We all coped as best we could. No one could fault you for that.”

Jane’s lips tugged into a smile and she nodded to them before accompanying Louisa to the seats. Once almost everyone was seated, Death stepped up to the altar. Mr. Dickinson cleared his throat. He held his hand out to Emily.

“I believe,” he began, “that it is traditional to walk my daughter down the aisle?”

Emily snickered as she took his hand. “You could just walk both of us, Dad.”

Mr. Dickinson grinned at that and lifted his other hand to Sue. She grasped it with a wide grin and Mr. Dickinson started down the aisle. Henry took that as his cue and began playing the piano. Everyone watched with wide eyes as the two brides were led toward the altar. Everyone was so happy for them, even Austin. Seeing them happy was all anyone wanted and finally, after _so long_ , they could have their happy ever after.

Death smiled at Emily as Mr. Dickinson stepped over to sit beside his wife. “Shall we, my darling?” he asked cheekily.

“Yes,” Emily said, her voice quiet as her eyes turned fully to Sue. “Yes, I’m ready.”

Sue laced her fingers with Emily’s free hand and corrected, “ _We’re_ ready.”

As the vows were given (in a slightly different way considering the whole being dead thing), Sue and Emily couldn’t take their eyes off one another. Death could only smirk through the whole thing, knowing how badly Emily wanted this to be over so she and Sue could be alone together, just like old times. He couldn’t speed things along, though, or Mrs. Dickinson would tan his hide, embodiment of death or not.

After what felt like ages, Death finally asked, “Do you, Susan Gilbert Dickinson take Emily Dickinson to be your deathly beloved wife?”

“Now I say ‘I do’ to you,” Sue stated with a soft laugh.

“And do you, Emily Dickinson, take Susan Gilbert Dickinson to be your deathly beloved wife?” Death inquired.

“Sue, forevermore.” Emily didn’t even blink, gazing at Sue with such intensity, Sue could have been blown away right then.

“Then by the Powers That Be, I pronounce the two of you married, for eternity and beyond.”

Without a second’s hesitation, Emily surged forward and wrapped her arms around Sue’s waist, bringing her into a searing kiss. Sue reciprocated desperately, not wanting to even entertain the idea this might be a dream or a trick. It had been too long since she last tasted Emily's lips, she couldn't let this slip away from her. Emily wanted nothing more than to fall into the soft comfort of Sue's lips again after so long apart. 

The sun exploded into a supernova behind their eyelids, the universe getting sucked into the resulting black hole, disintegrating everything around them, their bodies, their minds, their loved ones and the meadow, even Death, leaving behind nothing. Nothing but emptiness, glorious emptiness and a vast new beyond, a new playground to paint their world as they see fit. They were everything together, everything and nothing. Nothing but their souls reuniting again.

Applause registered as they finally pulled apart, staring into each other’s eyes as if they could see into them. And they could. They had been able to since before they even met. They could see and they loved it. It was them, now, the two of them, this meadow, and their love. The unbreakable bond between the two of them had kept them together, and now, they would never have to be apart.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually did a little research on Sue's and Emily's deaths while writing this (that's the only reason it took so long to write). Like I said, I hope you all like this. First Dickinson fanfic! 🍾🍾🍾


End file.
